Letter to self

(Based on the prompt From You to You,  a letter to a 14 year old me. )

I can’t even recall what I was doing at 14…seems such a long time ago. When I chose this prompt, I couldn’t think of anything that I could or wanted to say to a younger self. Now I think I can.

Do you remember that quote in Reader’s Digest?

Don’t be scared of darkness. It simply means that there’s a light shining nearby…

That stayed. Let’s start with that.

Don’t worry. About anything. Everything is a whole lot more and much much better in every way, than what you are hoping for and even perhaps, than what you can imagine at the moment.

Everything is alright. Everything always becomes alright.

You do get what you truly want and what is right for you. Not in the way others think of “right” in terms of “should” and “ought”, but what is truly right for and by you.

You will do everything that you want to do and a few things you haven’t planned on. Turns out that you have more courage than you know and are smarter than you think. Life is good, people are well and God is great.

And you know how you think you are bad at Maths? Turns out you’re completely off on that one and realise that now.

Few people you care about, will pass. It’s alright. It’s time for them to go. Doesn’t hurt after some time – the essence of your relationship, what you learnt from it, what it was like and about – all that stays with you.

Few dependencies petered out – which is a good thing. You have your own apartment, catch-up with friends on the weekends and wear heels now by the way. From time to time. Sneakers, jeans and t-shirts are still your favourite go to items…and you have a pair each in green, yellow and black – yes green and yellow too and no, you haven’t gone nuts. Wear them to office too and no, you are not working in media. Someday you want to though.

Your dreams are changing and horizons have broadened…worlds have opened up and I think they will continue to…

If I had to say something to you, I’ll say live freely.

Dance. Write. Smile more, say what you want to. Faces and places keep changing

Enjoy the present – how you are now is perfect great. Perfection is boring…and so limiting.

You have faith in yourself and your abilities already – do also enjoy what you have and how you are.

Whatever you want to do now, do that. You are fine. Things are great.

and they just keep getting better and better.

Found two new quotes recently. Hope you like them:

It’s time to start living the life you’ve imagined.
~ Henry James

Your current boundaries, were once unknown frontiers.
~ Anon


From Mrs. Hore’s English Class

A while back, we had to do a writing assignment based on a prompt. While another one spoke to me a little more at that time, I decided to revisit a few that whispered. One in particular struck a chord – Teacher’s Pet.

Its not really about being her pet or anything, but more about something she said once, which has stayed with me ever since.

She taught us History and then English through classes 4 and 5. Once, after our finals I guess, she wrote the following for me:

Do what you think is right,
Do it to the best of your ability.

She spoke it out aloud as I took the book and read the two lines. She asked me if I understood what she meant and I remember repeating the lines and replacing the word “right” with “best”. She corrected me immediately. I remember asking her “aren’t we supposed to do what is best?” I had learnt by then that we were. It wasn’t safe to do what I thought was right. It hardly ever seemed to be the best option, it could hurt someone, be inconvenient and get me into loads of trouble…which seemed like such a lot of unwarranted effort, for quite a bit of unnecessary pain.

I don’t remember what I said to her, something to the effect of “shouldn’t it be “best””, or “are you sure its not best? Isn’t that better?”. She assured me that she had not made a mistake. She meant to write “right”, because “what’s best may and can keep changing, what is right won’t”.

I remember asking her “how’d I know what would be right?” She said “you’d know”. I was dubious, but thought I’d give it a shot once.

Its been 20 years and ma’am, I haven’t stopped giving it a shot since.


Letting the scene speak

There is this weird sound, like when the edges of a paper curl up, charred by the flames as they continue to rise and flicker across its width.
It’s 3 AM and a lonely dog howls on…

The road has almost been destroyed by the indifferent and callous work done – there are deep ditches which the rain fills up…A few stray cars pass by, splashing water as their wheels fall in and out of those holes. Has it ever struck you how similar the sound of distant traffic or a truck speeding off is, to a slightly noisier version of a strong wind coming through and fading away?
All through this, the clock ticks on relentlessly.

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This time around

(Based on the prompt From You to You,  a letter to self. )

Sometime, somewhere, a few years from today…

So, how goes?

Things are good here. Its rather late, well past midnight in fact. With a chill in the air. Winter has set in.

Do you remember the house? Sitting in the drawing room now, in the usual corner. The lamp in the other corner is throwing a glow around and giving the feel of a fireside – minus the heat of course.

I haven’t had any regrets so far for anything that we have done – you and I. Or more appropriately, any version of us. I think we gave it a lot of thought – this mapping out what we want bit – and planned and worked towards it well enough. Couldn’t have done better and at least I got exactly where I wanted to be – actually better. Things are a lot better than I imagined they would be – reality perhaps often is. More satisfying, possibly purely because its more tangible? I got what I truly wanted by this stage and then some. I hope you have too.

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Moving on from the shitty first draft

“Give yourself permission to write a shitty first draft”  – Ann Lamotte .

The best quote I have read in a while.

Thing is I have written a few drafts over time and each of them gave the impression of being a first…primarily because am neither a writer, nor its new age version – a blogger. Very indisciplined, just as easily bored and ramble off like an old sailor, minus the rum and the stories.

Technically, they were all first drafts, because either by the virtue of a limited imagination, poor writing or pointless rambling, they were destined to be so…They were, as Anne very honestly points out, shitty as well.

Continue reading “Moving on from the shitty first draft”